In a about 90 days, Annie and I will be divorced. Also, I had to resign my job at Holladay UCC. On a lighter note, my car's not working.
Here's more explanation:
In early April, Annie and I separated. In the time between then and now, I've run the gamut of emotions and possible decisions. I went from desperately wanting to be back with her, to suspecting that I would be better off without our relationship. I eventually had to come to the hard decision that I had no other choice but to divorce Annie. The way I was being treated in the relationship was at best unfair and at worst abusive. I felt I would never be forgiven for my failings and felt no where near being unconditionally loved. And I don't want to live life that way.
Once the divorce is final, I'll lose the health benefits I get through Annie's job. So I had to find a new job--one with health insurance. Luckily, I've found one! I started last week and the job is providing direct support for three great guys in a group home. The bummer part is that the pay is scarcely more than minimum wage. But I've already been encouraged to apply for a better job in the company, so who knows?
I've been living with my parents ever since the April split. And since my financial and medical future is so uncertain, I may be with them quite a while longer. I'd complain about this, but it actually hasn't been so bad. When I showed up crying on their doorstep, they accepted me with no questions asked, and since then they've shown the utmost concern and care for me. One thing this whole mess has taught me is that I have wonderful family and friends who have been there for me whenever I've asked. Thank you so much to everyone who's supported me!
Now that things are official, I've been getting a lot of sympathy about the divorce. And don't get me wrong, it still pretty much sucks to be me. But I feel better now than I have in a very long time. Now that I know what's going to happen, I can feel hopeful about it. In fact, my plan is to use my new found freedom attend seminary somewhere next year! The challenge will be figuring out how to go to school and have health insurance at the same time. I'm thinking about going to school in Canada!
So, that's the short version of my life at this time. I've never experienced this much change, stress, depression, and out-right bad luck all at the same time like right now. But it's already grown me as a person and I'm trusting that God is letting all this happen for a reason. Thank you again so much to everyone who has been so good to me (you all know who you are, hopefully!).
Oh, and the car thing is a bad transmission, maybe.
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5 comments:
Come to Princeton Theological Seminary! MDiv students don't have to pay tuition. Plus, Katie and I are going to be here until 2013.
Hang in there...you can do eet!
Topher--wow! I can tell you that I have been there, and it is not a fun place to be...divorceville...if you need an empathetic ear, let me know! It WILL get better!
Thanks all.
John-- For real?? Because that would be awesome! My bigger problem though is getting insurance - do you know if Princeton has any options through their school?
Rebecca-- Divorceville does suck. It's getting better, and I feel good knowing at least what's happening, but it does still suck.
Toph-
I promise that there will be meaning if you both look for it and are open to it.
Also, if you need health insurance more than money, a new start, and an excuse to use your body, I recommend looking for work at REI; I can put in a word and maybe help you stick a job.
If you end up listening to Douglass and coming out east, we can be a resource for that as well.
Much love,
Ry
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